I quit my job to be a baseball wife and here’s what happened…
All of my problems are now gone!
Ok, yeah, not exactly.
First of all, let me acknowledge that this is the epitome of first world problems, and it’s peak “millennial” that I’m writing about it.
This is what I call a “Real Housewife” problem. AKA problems that only exist when you have too much time on your hands.
(Seriously, have you ever watched those shows? The things they argue about are beyond trivial sometimes!)
But let’s continue…
I quit my job as a TV sports reporter in January.
For the most part, I enjoyed my job. I had spent 6 years working my tail off, moving to three different cities, all for my career.
But here was the problem. My husband plays professional baseball. Which was great during the offseason. He could move to where ever I got a job, without a second thought.
But during the season. It was tough. We would see each other about once a month or two, for a weekend. I would fly in on Saturday morning, leave on the 5:30 a.m. flight on Monday, then get back home and work until about midnight.
We certainly made it work, but who wants to live a life where you’re just “making it work”? That sounds miserable.
So I wrestled with my thoughts for the better part of six months. Then finally, I had enough. I was tired of living two separate lives. My husband, Jake, was with the Cubs at the time, and I didn’t get to see him pitch even ONCE.
I felt like I was missing all these moments with him. I felt like I didn’t know any of his friends. It didn’t help that he despises talking on the phone.
“So how was your day?”
“What did you do?”
“Woke up. Ate lunch. Went to the field.”
“Oh wow. I really feel like I was there! Such detail!!”
So, yeah, it was hard to stay on the same wavelength some days.
A few weeks after I quit my job, we took a trip to Europe. It was fantastic. I felt like I was “living my best life” as I see on so many Instagram captions these days.
It took me almost six months to miss having a job.
I think that’s a good indicator of needing a break! The TV news business will do that.
But there’s one thing that keeps surfacing in my thoughts.
What do I base my self-worth on now that I don’t have a job??
I have always been an independent person. I do not like depending on someone else.
I was a decent athlete myself and graduated college with a degree in political science.
After 5 years of working, and moving to three different states to pursue tv, putting my career above everything…
I am a completely dependent, full-time wife
What am I supposed to base my self worth on?
Is it selfish of me to struggle with that?
Is it just me letting the outside world get to me?
Why do I need to have a successful career? To impress other people?
If I really love my husband – shouldn’t that be enough to make me happy?
The last thing I want to be is one of those happily dependent, gold-digging women who have zero desire to accomplish anything for themselves.
I used to look at most traveling baseball wives like that.
But after spending a season with my husband and meeting dozens of these wives and girlfriends, I realized that is definitely NOT the case.
A lot of them are a lot like me. So many of these women are incredibly smart and driven, but logistically, it just made more sense for them to be with their husbands.
Looking back, I do not regret quitting my job. At all. I only miss it occasionally. I only think about the self-worth thing when I’m having existential thoughts on a run or drinking my Starbucks, like a true millennial.
In a nutshell, I feel extremely lucky that now I get to wake up next to my husband every day. I have gotten to travel all over the world with him, and those are experiences that I will remember for the rest of my life.
But so many people have asked me about this, so I figured I’d write a little about it!