Dear Influencers: STOP Telling Me I’m “Perfect The Way I Am”


 Isn’t it ironic?

That the social media influencers talking about loving yourself for the way you are….

Have fake boobs, fake hair, fake tans, fake lips, and botox?

Don’t get me wrong.

I think it’s perfectly fine to alter your outward appearance IF you truly think it will make you happier.

You only get one go-round in this life, and if you think it would be better with bigger lips?

Who cares.

Go for it.

I used to be adamantly against these things, but I’ve changed my mind.

Get a nose job. Or a boob job. Or a dorsal fin. Or a prehensile monkey tail. Or a unicorn horn. I don’t care.

But will it truly make us happier?

In my experience — dying my hair platinum blonde HAS made me happier. It’s not even close to my natural hair color, but somehow it feels like “ME”…


I don’t care if it looks unnatural.. I LIKE IT….. so stop telling me to get lowlights!!!!

So who am I to argue with people wanting to change other things about their appearances??

But are these changes like Pringles? Once you pop, can you really NOT stop?

*Cue footage of the Real Housewives*

Beauty is subjective.

COMPLETELY subjective.

Back in medieval times, or sometime in ancient history, I think, fatter women were considered more attractive, because it meant they had enough money to eat.

… If only that was still the case. Sigh. But also, that’s back when people lived to be like 30 years old, max. So from a health standpoint — it’s definitely better to stay in some sort of shape, as we know now.

Think about it.

If you didn’t live in this era, would you really still be considering butt injections??

**Inner monologue while scrolling Groupon for deals on Facials**

Why can’t we, as women, all just make a pact NOT to do all of these things? I don’t want needles touching my face. UGH


I don’t really hate myself that much, but I don’t want to “fall behind”….

Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one NOT getting these things done.

But some of these things HAVE improved my life, in some way or another.

Let me tell you about the epic love story between me and my hair extensions.


I have medium-length hair. It’s okay for natural hair. But I also swim laps (chlorine damage) and bleach my hair.. so yeah, the ends get fried, and it’s hard to grow it super long.

My real hair, no extensions

Plus — now everyone has mermaid hair. Hair so long and thick it could be a tail on a large horse.

So a few years ago, I tried out the clip-in extensions.

I immediately felt like a princess!!! Ok, maybe just someone with healthy hair, but still, I felt great.

My hair with extensions a few years ago

Since they were clip-ins, I could take them out whenever I wanted, and only really wore them when I was on TV.

But after wearing them for a while, I began to hate myself without them.

I thought about wearing them to the beach. While I was hiking. Or just to go to the grocery store.

I no longer felt like a worthy human being without having extensions in.

That was rock bottom.

The extensions and I hit a rough patch in our relationship.

*Cue sad music montage*

I remember trying to make myself feel normal again by choosing not to wear them on the weekends.

It sucked. I felt ugly. I didn’t want to go in public.

That’s when you know something is wrong.

But now –  the extensions and I are doing great!!

I only wear them occasionally. And I certainly don’t wear them hiking or to the grocery store.

But they had some kind of hold over me. And it needed to stop.

Obviously, it’s not the extensions’ fault. *Pets extensions* it’s not your fault!

It was my self-confidence.

So here’s my advice — if your self-esteem is so low that it can’t handle mild, first-world adversity ( like seeing yourself in the mirror without makeup, botox, extensions, etc.)… then you probably should stay away from those things.

You’ve got to learn to separate yourself — as the way you are naturally — to the way you present yourself in public.

It’s a fact. People who are more attractive get so many more advantages in this world.

So if you want to “improve” your appearance in the eyes of the world, that’s fine. Just be real with yourself on WHY you’re doing it.

In our society, if you’re born “unattractive” (subjectively speaking) — you can probably change it.

*Insert before and after photos of Khloe Kardashian.. that woman SLAYS***

You don’t have to mope around and just be stuck with whatever figure you were given.

Just know that 

  1. Basing your self-worth on your appearance is a good way to be unhappy. Because unless you’re Halle Berry… there’s probably someone younger and prettier than you.. and you’ll never feel good about yourself
  2. Plastic surgery is expensive
  3. Life would be boring if we all looked the same
  4. No one judges a person one-dimensionally. Just because you have a great rear-end, doesn’t make you a fun person to be around. We all know that ridiculously good-looking person with the personality of a tree stump. Which is fine. We all have different gifts! Ha.


Repeat after me:


It is topical.

It is just the outer shell.

It will change as you get older.

(unless maybe you take HGH or something??)

No matter what changes you make, YOU are still YOU.

At my happiest. Good lighting is better than any cosmetic procedure!!









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